Being a former Marine (we never say Ex- Marine), one of the tenants of our creed is to never leave another Marine behind in battle. I’m sure you may have heard that before, and usually it’s in the context of “men” in the heat of battle. There is a camaraderie and respect level between two soldiers that goes beyond race, creed, orientation, religion or other category. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t particularly like the person in the foxhole with you. Your life depends on them and their life depends on you. You protect each other, fight for one another, and as in many cases are prepared to give your life for your fellow comrades. What makes a man on instinct, throw his body on a grenade to protect his men, or face enemy fire to rescue a fellow soldier?
An even greater question is this….In the context of marriage, why is it so difficult for a man to go and rescue his wife when she is “down”? You have been through so much together, but in moments of anger and frustration (fighting the enemy) he listens to the enemy and just leaves the weaker vessel out there. I know his thought process. “Her mouth is not weak at all. She knows just how to push my buttons and doesn’t really care what she says to me. If anything, I am the weak one because I will never win a war of words with her.” So, his answer is to leave her alone, thinking that is what she wants. Plus, it lets him off the hook and he waits until it’s safe to come out of his cocoon again.
I imagine many marriages have ended this way… In frustration and defeat. I imagine that there are many men who lost “the best thing that ever happened to them since Jesus” and now wonder how it happened. She felt like he didn’t care and he felt like she didn’t understand his point of view.
God spoke four words to me a couple months ago and they have continued to resonate in my Spirit…. “Marriage is For Grown-ups!”…… Really Lord? Duh!! But it’s so true. Men, I have some tough news for us…news that I didn’t want to face or acknowledge. It lies within this verse….
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25
I know, I know. We’ve seen this verse many times. But let’s look deeper. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Well how did he prove his love? He paid the ultimate price. Jesus suffered ridicule, disdain, mistrust, harsh words, beatings, and ultimately death for his bride. He’s not asking us to die literally, but we must be willing to go through enemy fire and not leave our best friend, comrade, lover, spouse, behind. She may tell you that she doesn’t need you, but if she didn’t you wouldn’t be there. Man up!
